Christmas special

Christmas was a bit different this year.. No staying up till 12am (lolol what staying up?? Normal sleeping time also 6am fml), wishing everyone Merry Christmas, opening presents, trying to persuade your doberman to let go of that christmas ornament or else (I swear it isn't even funny anymore).. I kind of missed that. I never realized how important that was to me until now.

Spent christmas with this bunch of people at, of all places, Kuala Selangor. Not exactly very christmassy, but it was fun nonetheless. Errrr at least the fireflies do make up for good christmas lightings HAHAHA.

Stayed at Fireflies Park Resort. At first it seemed a bit, well, unlike most hotels I'm used to: big, shiny and clean. It was so last minute and spontaneous anyway so what did we expect hahaha. It's a water chalet, but in reality its more like just little huts sitting on a swamp. Probably only slightly more atas than Shrek's swamp hahaha. Not that we minded, I'd prefer the company > accommodation any day please.

Uh, maybe except the toilet la hahaha. The door couldn't close and there wasn't any warm water.. So I survived on 3 small scoops of boiled kettle water + cold water LOL aiya one day mandi kerbau won't drop dead stinking with flies one la.

Had awesome seafood for our christmas dins!

Also went to go see the firefiles at the Kampung Kuantan Fireflies Park. It was RM50 per boat, which fits up to 4 people.. And it wasn't anything like we expected seriously. Before this, we all sort of imagined it to be swarms of fireflies in the air, surrounding the boats and all, but it isn't anything like that. Its just a short trip down the river, no fireflies in sight. If you look hard enough at the bushes along the river, it does look somewhat like little Christmas trees, which is actually quite pretty, but not as marvelous or as enchanting as everyone thinks. I did managed to catch one though, and it's adorable! They fly really slow and they're not afraid of people catching them. It was so pretty watching it sit, glowing on your hand in the dark, then watching it fly away. Unfortunately, no, it's really not a place for photo opportunities as everything is pitch black, but I wish I could!

I guess even though it's not really the traditional Christmas I'm used to, it was still pretty darn amazing. Few years ago, I would've never thought I'd have friends like these, now I do and I must be pretty lucky. Or just normal. 

Finals are over!

Back after a long time.. Been quite busy with my mocks finals and all, and let me just say that UOL is.. TOUGH. SPM was stressful, A Levels was stressful and somewhat hard, but UOL is just on another level. A whole other level, not even exaggerating it. At least for A-levels, you kind of get the basics from SPM and whatnot, but for UOL, there's a whole leap. No "continuing" learning, not based on what you've already learned previously, no. For once in a long long time, I actually felt really helpless and stupid, and quite frankly, not being big-headed or anything but I've NEVER went into an exam hall and feel like I don't know anything, and I've NEVER felt like I just needed to pass, instead of getting an A as I usually aim for (*ahem fucking economics again, the one freaking subject that ruined my A-levels cert), and it's not like I didn't study or anything. No wonder the dropout rate last year for UOL was a whopping 50%, but not that I would ever consider such a thing. Disappointed in myself, but I'm giving myself a break right now before I dive nose first into my studies again.

In other news.. Piconut launched (kinda) and business has been ok. Not overwhelming but not not enough. Well, enough to the point that I had to sell the stuff that I originally wanted to keep for myself, so its not bad, thank you guys for being nice and supportive! Also haven't been 100% invested in business lately because of finals and now that I'm pretty free, I've opened preorders again and restocking, and also bringing in new things in a few weeks time, hopefully people will find it really cheap and affordable, unlike the things that I currently have in store because the quality is really good so good quality = expensive. Someone asked if its called piconut because I couldn't decide between pineapple and coconut HAHAHA but no, I had two hamsters called Pico and Nutso so that's where its from. Have I mentioned how much I've missed having hamsters?

A lot.

Anyway, hopefully with my free time right now I will be able to finish a few sewing projects I started agesssss ago and have some quality time to myself (aka Dota, drama and sleeping with no guilt conscience hehe). So here's to the holidays, Merry Christmas everyone! God knows I need it.

Opinions.. When is it enough?

Yeah I get that people have a right to freedom of speech, and that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and such. Your opinion and mine may differ but it doesn't mean that one is right and the other one is wrong either, but when is it enough? How much or how far do you go before its.. too much?

I realize that when it comes to voicing out our own opinions.. We rarely keep them in check anymore. I mean, it is the 21st century what right. We tweet, we blog, we update on our every thought and opinion ranging from anything from food to sensitive topics etc etc... And I've come to realize that people (probably myself included) these days tend to go overboard. Yeah yeah I know, freedom of speech and all but you also need to have a limit. I personally tell myself that if its a nasty opinion on something, I'd keep it to myself.. I try, at least. Some people just don't care. Why give fucks freely after all, right? But if you want to look like an insensitive git then by all means, go ahead.

Bottom line is, you CAN say whatever you want, but people just don't quite understand how to exercise restraint when it comes to humiliating, downgrading others and sensitive topics *silently judging you*

September Haul

I remember when I used to be so into pastels and florals. Now I've kinda grew out of it and I'm obsessed with neutral, monotonous colors. Basically trying to go for a minimalistic look. Probably my favourite piece out of the bunch is the leather skirt, I could probably throw anything go with it and it would still look like I put in effort lol. Or is it the grey cardi? Can't decide which one I love more: badass or preppy?

In other news.. Well, not that I really need the money, but I thought it'd be great if I was earning a bit of my own money instead of just spending, so I'll be bringing in ready stocks and opening preorder for some clothes & accessories. I guess you could say this is some sort of a preview?

Wish me luck! xx

The friendzone

Because obviously 140 characters ain't enough for a rant so here we go, yet again *inhales deeply

For years I never really thought much about this term "friendzoned". We throw it around and make jokes about it, and I never really gave much thought about it until I saw this pic that was quite popular on 9gag:

This is the moment when it hit me. 

Are you implying that by being nice to a girl, you are entitled to a relationship or sex? And when that doesn't happen, its friendzoned???

WHAT ON MOTHER EARTH. 

First off, you should be nice to a girl because its the RIGHT THING TO DO. It's basic etiquette. And I'm not just talking about girls, but everyone in general. Shouldn't you treat people nicely just because, well, its right? DON'T TREAT A GIRL NICE JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES LIKE GETTING INTO HER PANTS OR ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. Similarly, don't just be nice to people just because you're looking to get rewarded. Thats just not how its works. 

Just because you treat a girl nice, doesn't mean she owes you anything and you are not entitled to anything either (misogynistic much) You think developing feelings for someone very easy is it. No. Its much much more complicated than that. Who knows what it takes? Chemistry? Butterflies? Better connection? Do you think feelings are like a switch you can flip on and off? Why do guys think that it is absolutely necessary for girls to like them by just being nice, when being nice is a normality and it is generally a courteous thing to do?

No matter how nice you treat a girl to win her heart, you are also forgetting that girls have a choice as human beings. Just because you're nice to girl, doesn't mean she has to choose you. She has every right to make choices and even if that choice doesn't involve being with you or even if it's a worse-off choice, it is her choice and it does not mean that she's wrong or she's a bitch. It may be unfortunate for you, yes, but it is not her fault.

Also.. Is the "friendzone" really such a bad place to be at? Can't two different genders just be friends without any need for sexual attraction or whatever it is? Why must some guys prioritize getting a girl than just being friends first?

Whatever it is, when I saw that pic on 9gag I instantly imagine a guy sitting behind his computer, carefully plotting his intricately drawn pie chart of "why I'm single" because all his Nice Guy attempts have not resulted in a GIRLFRIEND. SOUND SO BITTER AND SAD CAN. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE YOU'RE NICE. What fucking sad logic is that? How on earth did you manage to come up with that conclusion? I dunno what happened to you man but that isn't the reason why. You've got your pie chart all wrong. If you do not have a girlfriend, I'm pretty sure it's NOT because you're nice. It could be anything else (ahem PERSONALITY) but definitely not this. Never have I ever heard a girl telling me "I didn't like him because he was nice". Ever.

Just to be fair, I guess it is frustrating for some guys who are just unlucky, who treats girls nicely all the time but in turn always ended up disappointed and hurt. Well, I can't really say I understand, but to these guys so never wavered and never complained about being friendzoned because he was "too nice", I really really commend you. There is no such thing as being too nice. One day you're bound to be with someone who truly appreciates how you treat her and you deserve that.

And yeah, I understand that there are girls who take advantage of guys being nice to them, who know well fully how these guys feel about them and yet they still choose to lead guys on. But that is a rant for another day LOLOL. Ya I very chiong hei, dunno meh.

Also please read this. Extremely relevant:

(By Alisse Desrosiers, Feminspire)

Note: not talking about ALL GUYS in general but only SOME (ahem *the thousands of ppl on 9gag who shared and liked that pic*) and luckily none of my guy friends are like this.. But I DO know of guys who are like this though. How did you think I came across this 9gag pic if they didn't share it? :p

Ok and I swear last rant post. I think.

Body shaming

Lol whut. So the solution to end body shaming on mainstream media is... Badum-tss more body shaming!!! THATS THE WAY TO GO SOCIETY YEAH!!!

Skinny? Curvy? Average? FUCK THAT FUCK ALL OF YOU, BODY SHAMING IS THE WAY TO GO!! Cause, you know, instead of like discouraging body shaming as a whole, we end body shaming with MORE BODY SHAMING. Its amazing right, just like probably how we end cancer by inducing MORE CANCER!!! Thats right, this doesn't make sense, neither does treating body shaming with more body shaming makes sense either. Her point there was that other people must hurt to understand how other people ALSO hurt.

What the fuck logic is that? Isn't the reasonable thing is to STOP body shaming ALTOGETHER? Nobody gets hurt, win win. Also, not meant to be insensitive but please show me a song lyric that glorifies being skinny... Please do. I will probably get into an accident in my car and then die from a seizure if a song like that comes on the radio. Instead, I'm listening to Anaconda and All About That Bass constantly on our mainstream media.

Now, I don't have a problem with these songs. I really don't because I'm pass the point where I let media influence me and my thoughts. If anything I sing along to All About That Bass cause it's catchy. (OMG PAUSE GUYS, CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT ALL ABOUT THAT BASS FOR A SEC? My god, I've never heard of such a hypocritical, self-contradicting song. She said "every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top", which is good right? You'd think she was promoting self love for your own body regardless of size. NOPE. She goes ahead and sing about how "Boys like a little more to hold at night" and "I won't be no stick figure silicon barbie doll" sorry Meghan did you just eat your words??)

(2nd time typing this cause blogger didn't save - yet again) Self-insecurity, self-comparison and pressures that stems from seeing other people's bodies on the media is human nature. It is normal to want something you don't have. Normal to focus on different aspects of the media and feel inadequate, like being told you're not good enough or you should look a certain way to be considered beautiful. Probably just like larger women, they are groomed and governed to think that skinny is good and skinny is beautiful, just by watching skinny ass bitches stomping down runways. But from MY point of view of being a skinny ass.. Media has always taught me that curvier is better. At times I feel very insecure about my body, and I constantly wish I had bigger hips, bigger boobs etc etc. Just bigger. Because I'm groomed by a different aspect of our media. I see beautiful hot chicks in bikinis, in films with meat (because seriously, who the fuck wants to see bones in a bikini?) and people around me quoting things like "real women have curves" or "only dogs go for bones, real men go for meat" (if you have not heard of these infamous quotes by body shaming nobodies, what rock have you been under?!) and various mainstream songs (All About That Bass, Anaconda) while some people only notice skinny bitches on runways and even skinnier bitches being photoshopped thinner in magazines. You say the mainstream media is ONLY encouraging being skinny but I say thats wrong. It depends on what aspect of the media YOU focus on. 

Now, I'm not saying that skinny girls have it worse, my point is no matter your body size, no matter how big or small you are or regardless of being skinny or curvy, we've all been there before, only in different ways. We all hurt in different ways, but hurt nevertheless by our body size and what we perceive from media. It doesn't seem right to bash on a different body type when we were once there on the receiving end. Ultimately in the end, we are all female, and shouldn't we stick together and encourage one another that beauty is not defined by a particular body size? (Also if you are a self claimed feminist but hate on a certain body type.. Sorry bitch you ain't no feminist pls go enroll yourself into a feminism class and understand how it works)

As of 2014, do you see ANYONE glorifying and celebrating women of all shapes and sizes? Is there a song lyric on how beautiful all sizes are (except probably Who Says by Selena Gomez)? No? Hahahaha you'd think being in the 21st century, people would've figured out that glorifying skinny or curvy are both wrong, glorifying and celebrating ALL SHAPES AND SIZES IS THE WAY TO GO. Humanity as a whole has evolved so much, but at 2014 people's thinking are still so narrow. Must a person fit into a specific category (skinny/curvy) to be beautiful? 

Also, let me put this here:

But mind you, it would not have been right for someone to sing about "fat bitches" as it is singing about "fuck skinny bitches", double standards or not. Like I said, instead of encouraging body shaming, why not end it altogether?

And also these:

(It was so so hard trying to type out this rant post because body size is somewhat a sensitive topic. Also, as usual, it felt hard trying to translate my thoughts into words so I hope my point gets across somehow within the jumble of words without offending anyone)

Water dogs

Took my doggie swimming and... It was terrible lol. You'd think animals just have this animal instinct to swim and stay alive but nope. My dog has none LOL. I remember when I was young and putting my hamster in the sink (before I found out that you're actually not supposed to bathe hamsters LOLOL but he lasted way past his supposed life time ok!) and watching it paddle. I thought it was going to be the same.. NOPE. Mind you, we didn't force her into the pool, she jumped in willingly.. When she started thrashing about, I saw HO SHIT WHAT THE DUCK DID I JUST DO SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT clearly written all over her face HAHAHA.

She trashed like she was drowning but the thing is.. She isn't lol. She is so big, her paws are touching the bottom of the pool. But yet, more drowning-water-thrashing lolol. Even worse is she'll try to swim towards (swim? Water walking? Thrashing towards?) anyone in the pool, inducing and slicing everyone with her claws and then proceeding to cling on to the person for dear life HAHAHAHA. Getting clawed alive and then having to carry a 35kg dog out of the pool isn't exactlypleasant LOL. Actually now that I've described it, similarly... It's like trying to bathe a cat isn't it?

The funniest part was watching dogs 10 times smaller than her jumping into the pool and swimming perfectly while she clings onto the side refusing to budge WITH A LIFE VEST ON. Wait that also sounds like me a bit HAHAHA (I can't swim either) 

But overall, it was a good experience la.. An experience we will never forget and also, never repeat again LOL. I think she's traumatized for life. The centre we went to is really good in what they do though, there was a dog there that was abandoned by its owner after being severely beaten, when the guy from the centre took him in, the dog was moving around by dragging its useless hind legs. 2 years on and loads of swimming therapy later, I would not have guessed that the dog was once paralyzed in its two hind legs lor! So heartwarming to hear of good deeds with happy endings, it just goes to show there ARE still people who do good things without looking to benefit anything. It's so inspiring and I hope one day I'll be able to do the same!

So gogo support them if you're a doggie lover! They're called K9 Cottage and you gotta call ahead to make an appointment. It's RM30 an hour and an additional RM200 for deposit just in case, you know, your dog shits in the pool HAHA (don't worry, feed your dog's meal after swimming or wait till it's pooping time before going LOL). Visit their fb page in the link to see more pictures of other terrified/happy doggies HAHAHAH.

Didn't take much pictures, so here's a short and shit quality video I compiled from my phone LOL. The short, white dog with the docked tail was the previously paralyzed dog ^^ (Also, I wrote this post about......... 3 times.......... cause blogger is a fucker and won't save my shit yay so here's a post cut short) (And yeah that is my doggie, clinging to the side in her life vest for dear life)

August haul

I did a July haul so nah a few of my favourite August haul. I would say that I've definitely cut down on my shopping as compared to before! Most of these are from.. Tadah, overseas again! Well, except for the blue floral lace runner shorts and the denim skorts (yay my first skorts heuheu), they're from Vanity Project (because I was in their pictures for one of their collections lol) so gogogo check them out and support them, they're closing down soon because the owners are going overseas to further their studies d (wish you guys the best of luck!) and plus, they're having a lot of on-going promotions and sales in store if you're interested!

Vanity Project; (Insta / Webstore)

Also, recently I've been very into slouchy / long sleeved tops instead of the usual tight / crop tops that I usually go for. But well, I am very small sized so everything is slouchy on me anyway LOLOL. So far, my September haul has been filled with slouchy / long sleeved tops hehe.

In NON-materialistic news.. So far Uni has been, well, kinda fun. For once it just sorts of feel like I can be myself among people, something I realized I haven't been feeling in a long while. It's like letting go for the first time in a long time and I'm so relieved and thankful. I can't believe I was initially so apprehensive about making friends all over again.

Also, just a little something I left out in my manic pissy attack on MPU subjects: R U FUCKING SERIOUS I HAVE TO PAY 1.6K ON A USELESS SUBJECT I DON'T WANT TO TAKE IN THE FIRST PLACE. WHY THE FUCK why WHY its like paying 1.6k on a dress made out of asparagus I would never wear and never even LOOK at. I won't even eat the fucking thing because I HATE asparagus. This is exactly how I feel about paying for something so useless.

Hi guys

Top; Bangkok // Shorts; China // Bag; Christian Dior // Necklace; China

Haven't really been in the mood to blog lately, what with uni and all. Hardly anymore OOTDs either because well.. I just don't dress up anymore. And plus there really isn't an occasion for me to dress up for la k, its not like I can go to the mamak/uni fully decked in makeup and whatnot. Seriously, why the heck do I still buy clothes if I'm not going to wear them lolol.

Anyway sis and I went to the beach again with the doggie. I forgot to charge my camera *again* so I took some short videos and pics with my phone instead and compiled it hehe. Enjoy! Lengthy post in a bit.

MPU subjects

Top; Sg wang // Shorts; China // Bag; China

Ugh you know whats frustrating?

Getting B on an exam you studied very, very hard for. So yeah, obviously I didn't do so well for my A levels. It would've been ok if I played around and gotten a B but nooo, I knew that Economics was my weakest subject and I studied really really hard and I can honestly say that I did my best. If my best is a B, then its pretty fucking disappointing la to find out that your best is only a B wtf. 

Also, entering my uni year, I found out that I have FIVE freaking MPU subjects (compulsory subjects set by the gov) to take. WTF DIDN'T I SIT THROUGH THIS SHIT IN SECONDARY SCHOOL. WHAT ABOUT FOUNDATION LEVEL. WHAT DID I SIT THROUGH LECTURES AND TESTS FOR??? TO RESIT IT AGAIN AT UNI LEVEL?? 

Are we students, paying a private institution, a tuition fee worth thousands, to sit through something that we've gone through over over again in 6 years of primary school and 5 years of secondary school, to waste our time sitting for tests on COMMON KNOWLEDGE (seriously if you don't know your basic moral values like helping an old lady cross the road or that Malaysia was colonized by the British or that we should respect and live harmoniously between the races in our country (RESPECT EVERYONE, REGARDLESS OF AGE, RACE AND SEX LA MY GOD WHY CAN'T THEY FOCUS ON THIS AND BE DONE WITH IT) then you are FUCKED, but I highly doubt), subjects that we certainly won't have any use for in the future, in our career? Is my boss going to ask me when (exact date) and where (exact place) the Perjanjian Malaysia was signed (legit came out in my Malaysian Studies paper) when I'm sitting at my desk doing fucking accounting and then throw a stapler at me if I don't know? 

Am I going to get a certificate in these subjects and then build a future from it? What is this Malaysian Studies and Quality Work Life and Hubungan Etnik and Study Skills. Can I gain money from it from the future? Can eat one ah? Cannot? What can they tell me that I don't already know? Respect? Study hard? Morale values? 1Malaysia? Must we seriously go into details about EVERYTHING?

I mean seriously. Maybe at our primary/secondary level it was necessary, to instill some kind of patriotism or morale values when we're still young. Now it's just fucking ridiculous and annoying. At college/uni level we are already young adults. If you feel the need to make these subjects compulsory and educate 18-21+ year olds on moral values and history then you know you might as well have failed to educate us properly in our primary/secondary level. Why not go ahead and just make it mandatory for the whole population to take these subjects at WHATEVER level, working or studying?

I know its been going on for quite some time but frankly I'm quite pissed cause I was TOLD that if I sat through it in college, I wouldn't have to do it again in Uni, which is the biggest lie of the year. I'm paying 12k a year to do this... Lets not even go into details about what these subjects are REALLY REALLY ABOUT. LETS NOT GO THERE BECAUSE ITS FUTILE.

Ok rant over. Sometimes I try not touch on things like these and try to be more tolerant and whatnot, but sometimes.. Sometimes I just need to be me ok.

Running man

Top from @sweet16commy (website / facebook). I personally love this baby doll top, in fact I bought one myself but in black before I received this, but obviously the one from sweet16 was of better quality!
Necklace; China // Crochet shorts; @bashclothing_

My newest, latest addiction: Running man!

My god when I started Running man it was like a revival of the soul LOLOL. I was brushing my teeth while watching when the top two scenes came up. I slobbered toothpaste all over my hair then I couldn't even wash it off LOL. I spent the next 2 mins rolling on my bathroom floor trying to recover my sanity. And there's a lot more scenes that were really hilarious la, screenshots can't express it properly. It's so refreshing to watch people who are not afraid of looking stupid in front of thousands of people. Needless to say, this is my new cheer-me-up pill. I'm so glad there's like over 200 episodes! Someone should definitely pay me to be a professional couch potato heuheu.

Also, starting Uni tomorrow. Back to routine for the first time in a very long time (4 months? My longest break in my LIFE). I'm excited to move on to a new phase of my life yet already feeling restless thinking about driving to uni, waking up early, trying to make new friends. I can't even get my sleeping schedule back on track, my normal sleeping time is *STILL* 6am. How is it possible to have jet lag without actually going anywhere?

Wish me luck on my orientation!

Days like these

Had to squat down to take a pic with Lucy (the dog lol) cause she has this condition where whenever she gets too excited, she pees. So can't carry her.. I swear small dogs get generally really excited about everything. Big dogs don't give a shit HAHAHA.... Sigh.

Swimming & catch up session at Ee Vern's condo, of which I forgot to bring my bra for post-swimming cause I wore my bikini and went.. How typical of me! So had to go all the way home wearing my wet bikini top, my boobs were so cold wtf. Had a good dinner of Fatty Crab afterwards & wanted to go Inside Scoop for ice-cream dessert, but it was packed to the brim with people. Ended the day at my place instead.

I love days like these.