September Haul

I remember when I used to be so into pastels and florals. Now I've kinda grew out of it and I'm obsessed with neutral, monotonous colors. Basically trying to go for a minimalistic look. Probably my favourite piece out of the bunch is the leather skirt, I could probably throw anything go with it and it would still look like I put in effort lol. Or is it the grey cardi? Can't decide which one I love more: badass or preppy?

In other news.. Well, not that I really need the money, but I thought it'd be great if I was earning a bit of my own money instead of just spending, so I'll be bringing in ready stocks and opening preorder for some clothes & accessories. I guess you could say this is some sort of a preview?

Wish me luck! xx

The friendzone

Because obviously 140 characters ain't enough for a rant so here we go, yet again *inhales deeply

For years I never really thought much about this term "friendzoned". We throw it around and make jokes about it, and I never really gave much thought about it until I saw this pic that was quite popular on 9gag:

This is the moment when it hit me. 

Are you implying that by being nice to a girl, you are entitled to a relationship or sex? And when that doesn't happen, its friendzoned???

WHAT ON MOTHER EARTH. 

First off, you should be nice to a girl because its the RIGHT THING TO DO. It's basic etiquette. And I'm not just talking about girls, but everyone in general. Shouldn't you treat people nicely just because, well, its right? DON'T TREAT A GIRL NICE JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES LIKE GETTING INTO HER PANTS OR ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. Similarly, don't just be nice to people just because you're looking to get rewarded. Thats just not how its works. 

Just because you treat a girl nice, doesn't mean she owes you anything and you are not entitled to anything either (misogynistic much) You think developing feelings for someone very easy is it. No. Its much much more complicated than that. Who knows what it takes? Chemistry? Butterflies? Better connection? Do you think feelings are like a switch you can flip on and off? Why do guys think that it is absolutely necessary for girls to like them by just being nice, when being nice is a normality and it is generally a courteous thing to do?

No matter how nice you treat a girl to win her heart, you are also forgetting that girls have a choice as human beings. Just because you're nice to girl, doesn't mean she has to choose you. She has every right to make choices and even if that choice doesn't involve being with you or even if it's a worse-off choice, it is her choice and it does not mean that she's wrong or she's a bitch. It may be unfortunate for you, yes, but it is not her fault.

Also.. Is the "friendzone" really such a bad place to be at? Can't two different genders just be friends without any need for sexual attraction or whatever it is? Why must some guys prioritize getting a girl than just being friends first?

Whatever it is, when I saw that pic on 9gag I instantly imagine a guy sitting behind his computer, carefully plotting his intricately drawn pie chart of "why I'm single" because all his Nice Guy attempts have not resulted in a GIRLFRIEND. SOUND SO BITTER AND SAD CAN. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE YOU'RE NICE. What fucking sad logic is that? How on earth did you manage to come up with that conclusion? I dunno what happened to you man but that isn't the reason why. You've got your pie chart all wrong. If you do not have a girlfriend, I'm pretty sure it's NOT because you're nice. It could be anything else (ahem PERSONALITY) but definitely not this. Never have I ever heard a girl telling me "I didn't like him because he was nice". Ever.

Just to be fair, I guess it is frustrating for some guys who are just unlucky, who treats girls nicely all the time but in turn always ended up disappointed and hurt. Well, I can't really say I understand, but to these guys so never wavered and never complained about being friendzoned because he was "too nice", I really really commend you. There is no such thing as being too nice. One day you're bound to be with someone who truly appreciates how you treat her and you deserve that.

And yeah, I understand that there are girls who take advantage of guys being nice to them, who know well fully how these guys feel about them and yet they still choose to lead guys on. But that is a rant for another day LOLOL. Ya I very chiong hei, dunno meh.

Also please read this. Extremely relevant:

(By Alisse Desrosiers, Feminspire)

Note: not talking about ALL GUYS in general but only SOME (ahem *the thousands of ppl on 9gag who shared and liked that pic*) and luckily none of my guy friends are like this.. But I DO know of guys who are like this though. How did you think I came across this 9gag pic if they didn't share it? :p

Ok and I swear last rant post. I think.

Body shaming

Lol whut. So the solution to end body shaming on mainstream media is... Badum-tss more body shaming!!! THATS THE WAY TO GO SOCIETY YEAH!!!

Skinny? Curvy? Average? FUCK THAT FUCK ALL OF YOU, BODY SHAMING IS THE WAY TO GO!! Cause, you know, instead of like discouraging body shaming as a whole, we end body shaming with MORE BODY SHAMING. Its amazing right, just like probably how we end cancer by inducing MORE CANCER!!! Thats right, this doesn't make sense, neither does treating body shaming with more body shaming makes sense either. Her point there was that other people must hurt to understand how other people ALSO hurt.

What the fuck logic is that? Isn't the reasonable thing is to STOP body shaming ALTOGETHER? Nobody gets hurt, win win. Also, not meant to be insensitive but please show me a song lyric that glorifies being skinny... Please do. I will probably get into an accident in my car and then die from a seizure if a song like that comes on the radio. Instead, I'm listening to Anaconda and All About That Bass constantly on our mainstream media.

Now, I don't have a problem with these songs. I really don't because I'm pass the point where I let media influence me and my thoughts. If anything I sing along to All About That Bass cause it's catchy. (OMG PAUSE GUYS, CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT ALL ABOUT THAT BASS FOR A SEC? My god, I've never heard of such a hypocritical, self-contradicting song. She said "every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top", which is good right? You'd think she was promoting self love for your own body regardless of size. NOPE. She goes ahead and sing about how "Boys like a little more to hold at night" and "I won't be no stick figure silicon barbie doll" sorry Meghan did you just eat your words??)

(2nd time typing this cause blogger didn't save - yet again) Self-insecurity, self-comparison and pressures that stems from seeing other people's bodies on the media is human nature. It is normal to want something you don't have. Normal to focus on different aspects of the media and feel inadequate, like being told you're not good enough or you should look a certain way to be considered beautiful. Probably just like larger women, they are groomed and governed to think that skinny is good and skinny is beautiful, just by watching skinny ass bitches stomping down runways. But from MY point of view of being a skinny ass.. Media has always taught me that curvier is better. At times I feel very insecure about my body, and I constantly wish I had bigger hips, bigger boobs etc etc. Just bigger. Because I'm groomed by a different aspect of our media. I see beautiful hot chicks in bikinis, in films with meat (because seriously, who the fuck wants to see bones in a bikini?) and people around me quoting things like "real women have curves" or "only dogs go for bones, real men go for meat" (if you have not heard of these infamous quotes by body shaming nobodies, what rock have you been under?!) and various mainstream songs (All About That Bass, Anaconda) while some people only notice skinny bitches on runways and even skinnier bitches being photoshopped thinner in magazines. You say the mainstream media is ONLY encouraging being skinny but I say thats wrong. It depends on what aspect of the media YOU focus on. 

Now, I'm not saying that skinny girls have it worse, my point is no matter your body size, no matter how big or small you are or regardless of being skinny or curvy, we've all been there before, only in different ways. We all hurt in different ways, but hurt nevertheless by our body size and what we perceive from media. It doesn't seem right to bash on a different body type when we were once there on the receiving end. Ultimately in the end, we are all female, and shouldn't we stick together and encourage one another that beauty is not defined by a particular body size? (Also if you are a self claimed feminist but hate on a certain body type.. Sorry bitch you ain't no feminist pls go enroll yourself into a feminism class and understand how it works)

As of 2014, do you see ANYONE glorifying and celebrating women of all shapes and sizes? Is there a song lyric on how beautiful all sizes are (except probably Who Says by Selena Gomez)? No? Hahahaha you'd think being in the 21st century, people would've figured out that glorifying skinny or curvy are both wrong, glorifying and celebrating ALL SHAPES AND SIZES IS THE WAY TO GO. Humanity as a whole has evolved so much, but at 2014 people's thinking are still so narrow. Must a person fit into a specific category (skinny/curvy) to be beautiful? 

Also, let me put this here:

But mind you, it would not have been right for someone to sing about "fat bitches" as it is singing about "fuck skinny bitches", double standards or not. Like I said, instead of encouraging body shaming, why not end it altogether?

And also these:

(It was so so hard trying to type out this rant post because body size is somewhat a sensitive topic. Also, as usual, it felt hard trying to translate my thoughts into words so I hope my point gets across somehow within the jumble of words without offending anyone)